Everyman - The Musical:

The South Bay Bridge Project

 

Act One

 

SETTING:           The upstage background consists of a sky backdrop with four or five separated flats in front painted with the lifesized images from the Dance of Death, a medieval painting featuring humans of all walks of life in a chain-dance with skeletons.  Upstage Left stands a huge Hellmouth (a huge dragon's head, with a mouth big enough for devils to walk through and grab sinners) opening out to the stage.  It locates the band members who are costumed to look like devilish fiends.  Stage Right is a simple sign on a pole with an arrow pointing off right underneath the word "Heaven."

 

AT RISE:    A UPS Delivery Woman enters, holding a small package, and addresses the audience.

 

UPS

(town crier) Here Beginneth the tale of Everyman and Everywoman. That means you, so I pray you listen!  T'is your story.  It takes place between Heaven (gestures right) and Hell (gestures to Hellmouth), so it's the story of your salvation.  IÕm a messenger.  I have a package, for someone named Good Deeds.  Is she here?  Good Deeds?  Strange name, I admit.  Well, maybe she's backstage.  I also have a message that is wonderous precious: Take Heed, and Be Ye Never So Gay!  No, I donÕt mean homosexual.  This play dates back to medieval times, the 1400s okay?  So, we're using the old definition of gay, so the meaning in my message is really, Don't Forget to Give Back while you're here.  Why?  Because your time here is short, so think more about where you're going to spend most of your time! 

 

(PERDITA enters, pulling her cart of cans.  UPS sees her, regards her suspiciously, then asks her.)

 

Good Deeds?  Are you Good Deeds?  (she grunts a laugh, then continues offstage).  No, I didn't think so.   Well folks, again, enjoy life while you can, but try to help others too, so you can help yourself with your own eternity issues!  Here, I have some friends who will tell you more about how we be so selfish and unloving to others.  They're called Calacas, because when they walk, their bones make clicking noises.  See you later.  Enjoy, for soon shall ye see.   Good Deeds?  Anyone here named Good Deeds?  Good Deeds?

 

(UPS exits, calling for GOOD DEEDS.  Music.  A chorus of CALACAS, dancing skeletons, enter from behind the flats.  Their entrances begin slowly, creepily, but develops into a frenetic, epileptic shaking of their bodies.  After two minutes of the dance, they begin to sing the "Dance of Death.")

 

CALACAS

come join us in our dance of death

the steps are easy if you've never

there's lots of time to practice them

'cause Death Lives Forever

 

Everyman must join this dance

poor, rich, great and small.

pope, emperor, maiden, clerk

Death invites you all

 

You are now, what we were;

what we are, you will be!

golden folks, fear no more,

gone now?  dance with me.

 

we toss, we shake, we right, we left

our touch on life we sever

a lively step you can't resist

'cause Death Lives Forever

 

enjoy yourself while you can

grieving doesn't help at all

time is running out you know

make ready for our call

 

You are now, what we were;

what we are, you will be!

golden folks, fear no more,

gone now? dance with me.

 

(CALACAS speak individually, unless indicated.)

 

CALACAS

All ye gathered souls, Relax!  Don't be scared!

 

CALACAS

A lot of time is left for you.

 

CALACAS

Well, maybe.  Who knows?

 

CALACAS

That's right.

 

CALACAS

How does anyone know?

 

CALACAS

When 'tis your hour.

 

CALACAS

Time to go.

 

CALACAS

Time to exit.

 

CALACAS

Time to die.

 

CALACAS

When death comes to call!

 

All CALACAS

Death Calling!   Ha Ha Ha Ha!

 

(CALACAS play it out to the audience, but then high five each other laughing;)

 

CALACAS

Well met, everyone.

 

CALACAS

We be your friendly Calacas.

 

CALACAS

Better known in the West as Death!

 

CALACAS

And death comes in many ways.

 

CALACAS

That's right, Pneumonia.

 

CALACAS

Thanks Heart Attack.

 

CALACAS

I'm Cancer.  And these are my brothers and sisters.  Say hello to Murder.

 

CALACAS

I'm well known in your world.  So's my sister here.

 

CALACAS

Hi, I'm Apathy. 

 

CALACAS

Laugh not!  She's the biggest killer of all.

 

CALACAS

I'm O.D.

 

CALACAS

I'm Depression.  And this is Drowning, Madness, War, Jealousy, and Cigarette.

 

CALACAS

But, don't let us scare you. 

 

CALACAS

We're not very different from you.

 

CALACAS

We're closer to you than you think.

 

CALACAS

Like the song said:

 

CALACAS

You are now, what we were;

 

CALACAS

And what we are, you will be!

 

CALACAS

It all comes down to when you are called for.

 

CALACAS

That's right, when God calls for you.

 

CALACAS

And God calls Everyman

 

CALACAS

And Everywoman

 

CALACAS

And Everything.  Nothing gets past us!

 

 

CALACAS

No one can avoid .....

 

("Death" is intoned from offstage, over speakers, a godly sound.)

 

GOD VOICE

Death.

 

CALACAS

There you go.  We're getting called again.

 

CALACAS

Never a moment's peace do we get.

 

CALACAS

And no overtime either.

 

GOD VOICE (off)

Death.  Where are you?  Your services, I need again.

 

CALACAS

Out here.  With Every Body.

 

CALACAS

Ladies and Gentlemen. 

 

(Music intros.)

 

CALACAS

We are proud to present to you.

 

CALACAS

Someone you may have only heard about.

 

CALACAS

But wished you knew better.

 

CALACAS

Let's have a big welcome for .....

 

CALACAS

Your maker and mine.

 

CALACAS

The Gods.

 

 

(Music. "The One True God." The first god enters, ZEUS)

 

CALACAS

Father of the Gods, and player with the goddesses,

frightened everyone with his thunderbolt

ruled olympus from his throne in the clouds

only Zeus's wife could stage a revolt

 

ZEUS

My daughter Athena was a pain in my head

but the Greeks built her the parthenon

I got my eye on Persephone now

but don't tell my wife or she'll check up on

 

CALACAS and ZEUS

remember when you say your prayers

And hope your life can richer be

don't forget your one true god

Zeus, the father king, that's me

 

(SARASWATI enters.)

 

CALACAS

the goddess of wisdom, the one who flows

she's got four arms and a sinuous body

created Sanskrit, the Hindu language

an Indian hottie, she's Saraswati.

 

SARASWATI

the first day of spring is Basant Panchami

the holy time for my people to pray;

art and culture I celebrate then

and as goddess of rivers cast evil away

 

CALACAS and ZEUS and SARA

remember when you say your prayers

And hope your life can richer be

don't forget your one true god

Saraswati, (and Zeus), that's me

 

(YEMAJA enters.)

 

CALACAS

An orisha from the Yoruba people

she reigns over all the living on earth

protector of children who follow like fishes

Yemaja is ocean and motherhood's worth

 

 

YEMAJA

America was not our choice

to help my captive people I came

now millions in Rio at Copacabana

float candles  on water and shout out my name

 

CALACAS and ZEUS, SARA and YEMAJA

remember when you say your prayers

And hope your life can richer be

don't forget your one true god

Yemaja, Saraswati, and Zeus, that's me

 

(YAHWEH enters.)

 

CALACAS

Israeli warrior divine

protects his people from their foes

Observant Jews don't say his name

but Yahweh's bush sure burned and glowed

 

YAHWEH

my jealous wrath can know no bounds

as Adam, and Noah, and Eve found out

the seventh day is mine to rest

for Moses and I to walk about

 

CALACAS and ZEUS, SARA, YEMAJA and YAHWEH

remember when you say your prayers

And hope your life can richer be

don't forget your one true god

Yemaja, Sara, Zeus, and Yahwee

 

(QUETZALCOATL enters.)

 

CALACAS

Aztec sky God, Feathered Snake

in mexico he created man

mixed his blood in the land of death

Quetzalcoatl at Teotihuacan

 

QUETZALCOATL

god of death and resurrection

I know anguish, loss and pain

my heart became the morning star

by friars and Cortez my people were slain

 

 

 

CALACAS and ZEUS, SARA, YEMAJA, YAHWEH and QUETZ

remember when you say your prayers

And hope your life can richer be

don't forget your one true god

him and her, her him, and me

 

CALACAS

can't forget the god of Islam

the maker of all muslim things

Allah come out and show your glory

Allah for you, we stand up and sing

 

(MS. HAMID, a secretary with a clipboard, enters.  The music stops.  Everyone groans.)

 

MS. HAMID

Forget it.  You all know that it is sacrilege to show any image of Allah.  But I can speak for him.  I am Ms. Hamid, his personal assistant.

 

CALACAS

Sorry.  We were on a roll, so we thought we might get a look at him.

 

MS. HAMID

Nice try.  According to the Qur'an, "No vision can grasp Allah, but His grasp is over all vision.  He is above all comprehension, yet is acquainted with all things"

 

CALACAS

Wow.  How can that be?

 

MS. HAMID

Well, it's a mystery.

 

CALACAS

But how can Allah be everywhere at once?

 

MS. HAMID

Well, if we knew that, it wouldn't be a mystery.

 

CALACAS

Hey, I have a question for Saraswati.   I know you created the Sanskrit language, but what's it like having four arms.

 

 

 

 

SARASWATI

Well, I also created multitasking.  And as you see, I'm carrying a book, as patron of education, a lute, for I am also patron of the Performing Arts, and the prayer beads and water show my strong connection to religious rituals.

 

ZEUS

I'd like to make some music with you, Sara.

 

YAHWEH

Hands off, Zeus, or I'll tell your wife.  Then we'll see who really rules Olympus.

 

(The other gods laugh.  A voice is heard from out in the audience.  Can be EveryBro.)

 

AUDIENCE MEMBER

Hey, where are all the other gods.  Is this it?

 

CALACAS

Well, these are the only ones available right now.  Do you know how complicated it is being a god?

 

CALACAS

Do you think they just sit around on a throne all day?

 

CALACAS

Hey, we were lucky these great ones could show.

 

CALACAS

Yes, thank you for coming.  Does anyone else have a question for Zeus, Yahweh, Quetzalcoatl, Saraswati, Yemaja or Ms. Hamid?

 

CALACAS

May not get this chance again til it's too late.

 

(At this point, we improvise.  If any audience members want to ask a question, a calaca should facilitate, and the god should try to get back some more info about themselves.)

 

YEMAJA

Well, I have a question!

 

CALACA

Yemaja, mother goddess of the Yoruba people of Nigeria, what is your request.

 

 

YEMAJA

This is for the gods only. 

 

CALACAS

Okay, we understand. We're not hurt.

 

(Sulking, the calacas assemble down left and right,while the gods confer.)

 

YEMAJA

What are we going to do about Everyman?

 

ZEUS

What about Everyman?

 

YEMAJA

Everyman has forgotten us! 

 

SARASWATI

That's true!  He knows us not, and lives so obsessed with worldy possessions that he has forgotten his god, his maker.

 

QUETZALCOATL

All he thinks about is his BMW, his PDA, his beach house,

 

YAHWEH

Her Gucchi handbags, her mortgage payments, her Italian pumps.

 

MS. HAMID

His bike, his babes, his laptop

 

ZEUS

Her beads, her stocks, her facials.

 

YEMAJA

Have you seen them in a theatre, text messaging all their friends while the movie or the show is going on?

 

(The Gods take a cold look at the audience; some point to guilty members.)

 

QUETZALCOATL

They can't give up their addiction to Goods.

 

YEMAJA

It is an addiction.  They don't really need all this stuff.

 

 

MS. HAMID

I think Everyman, Everywoman, Everykid, Everybody has lost respect for us, and for themselves.

 

YAHWEH

They have fallen to the Seven Deadly Sins. 

 

SARASWATI

Yes, Everyman is consumed with Pride.  He has no more humility.

 

ZEUS

Yes, Everywoman is consumed with Envy.  She must have what others have.

 

YEMAJA

And Everybody is consumed with Sloth.  They are joyless, and godless.

 

QUETZALCOATL

All that Everyman has left to him is Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, and Lust.

 

MS. HAMID

And what about Charity?  Has anyone seen Everyman lift a finger to help his suffering neighbors? 

 

YEMAJA

No.  He's too busy watching American Gladiator.

 

ZEUS

Hey, I like that show.

 

YAHWEH

Me too.

 

YEMAJA

Wonder why.

 

SARASWATI

But why doesn't Everyman try to make his world a better place?

 

YEMAJA

Everyman is self-obsessed.  He can't see beyond his own trivial desires.

 

MS. HAMID

Allah would say that Everyman has lost his fear of his Lord.

 

SARASWATI

It's an awful world we've created.  I'm depressed.

 

 

QUETZALCOATL

Now Sara, don't get upset.  Are you taking your meds?

 

YAHWEH

Well I think we should do this Old Testament.  Let's just do the flood again and start over.

 

 

ZEUS

No. let me scare them to death with my thunder and lightning.  Shake them up a little.

 

YEMAJA

Boys, boys.  Let's avoid violent solutions.  Remember what we talked about at the peace conference?  Haven't we learned anything from the Iraq war?

 

QUETZALCOATL

Well, what's to be done about Everyman?

 

YEMAJA

I think we have to send in our most potent weapon.

 

ZEUS

Double O7?

 

(They all stare at Zeus and frown.)

 

GODS (together)

No.  (pause).  Death!!!  Where are you?

 

(Calacas spring to attention.)

 

CALACAS (scattered)

Oh God, right here, lord. Right here!

 

YEMAJA

Death, thou bony messenger.

 

YAHWEH

Go thou to Everyman.

 

SARASWATI

And Everywoman.

 

ZEUS

Show them, they must a pilgrimage make

 

 

MS. HAMID

Which they in no ways may escape.

 

QUETZALCOATL

And that he and she bring a sure reckoning without delay

 

(The calacas stand to raise their arms and point to individuals in the audience.)

 

CALACAS

A Sure Reckoning to the Maker of Everyman.

 

SARASWATI

(Sneaking it in.)  And woman.

 

CALACAS

This is the day that no one living may escape away

 

CALACAS

We will to them in all haste

 

YEMAJA

First, we must perform religious rites to undertake this mission.

 

SARASWATI

Yes, Yemaja, bring us your sacred waters from the Ogun river to bless this deliverance.

 

YAHWEH

Quetzaloatl, give us your sacred verses, to lift our ritual above this earth.

 

YEMAJA

Calacas, lend us your bones to draw in the flesh of Every person.

 

ZEUS

Saraswati, give us music to raise our spirits and our bodies.

 

SARASWATI

(To the band).  Ok, hit it Mike.

 

(Music.  The Calacas dance right and left of the Gods Chorus for "Dem Bones.")

 

THE GODS (parts later)

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Well the finger bone connected to the hand bone

The hand bone connected to the wrist bone

The wrist bone connected to the arm bone

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Well the arm bone connected to the elbow

The elbow connected to the muscle bone

The muscle bone connected to the shoulder bone

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

(Calacas bring out signs with the song lyrics and prompt the audience to join in for chorus.)

 

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Well the shoulder bone connected to the back bone

The back bone connected to the neck bone

The neck bone connected to the head bone

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Well the head bone connected to the neck bone

The neck bone connected to the back bone

The back bone connected to the hip bone

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Well the hip bone connected to the thigh bone

The thigh bone connected to the knee bone

The knee bone connected to the leg bone

The leg bone connected to the ankle bone

The ankle bone connected to the foot bone

The foot bone connected to the toe bone

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Now hear the word of the Lord.

 

(The Gods exit to a vamp played by the band.  PERDITA crosses upstage, watching them leave. The calacas turn to the audience.  Four calacas step up along each aisle, and another four cross to center stage who begin to dialogue with the audience.  They all call out to Everyman.)

 

CALACAS

Everyman!  Everyman!  Everyman! 

 

(PERDITA hurries off.  Already seated in the audience, Every Bro (High), Every Woman (Mid), and Every Dude (Low) stand.)

 

EVERYWOMAN

Who calls me?

 

EVERYDUDE

Hey dude!  What's happnin'?

 

EVERYBRO

Sup Bro?

 

CALACAS

(to EveryDude)  Who are you?

 

EVERYDUDE

I'm EveryDude, Dude.

 

CALACAS

(to EveryBro)  And you?

 

EVERYBRO

I'm EveryBro, brother.

 

CALACAS

And who be you?

 

EVERYWOMAN

I'm EveryWoman.  Get it straight, would you!

 

EVERYDUDE

What is this, Halloween?  Far out man!

 

EVERYBRO

Yeah, why are you dressed like skeletons?

 

 

EVERYWOMAN

Why do you call on Everyman, and Woman?

 

CALACAS

Hast thou thy Maker forgot?

 

EVERYBRO

Why do you ask?

 

CALACAS

We are sent to thee.

EVERYBRO

Sent to me?

 

EVERYDUDE

To me?

 

EVERYWOMAN

From whom?

 

(Calacas all point up.  Everypersons react in shock.  Calacas, and Everypersons should move about the audience, in both aisles and rows.)

 

EVERYBRO

What for?

 

CALACAS

God commands thee to provide without delay ...

 

EVERYDUDE

Sure, I have a new board he can have.

 

EVERYBRO

Oh hey!  Does he like Hip-Hop?  I have some bangin' cuts.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Wait!  Does she need a good cleanser?  I have great product.

 

CALACAS

A reckoning God would needs have

 

CALACAS

And without any longer respite.

 

EVERYDUDE

Woa.  I need a lot longer to put together a reckoning. 

 

EVERYWOMAN

Me too.  I'm closing on a house next week.

 

EVERYBRO

I'm in the Bahamas tomorrow, jack.

 

CALACAS (together)

Nay, thou must take a long journey

And make sure thy book of count;

For before God thou shalt show

How thou hast spent thy life

 

EVERYBRO, EVERYDUDE, EVERYWOMAN

Ahhhhhh, you can't be serious!

 

EVERYBRO

I'm not ready for this.

 

EVERYDUDE

Me neither.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Who could be? 

 

EVERYDUDE

And just who are you, a messenger?

 

CALACAS (all, but not together)

I am death.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Death.  Listen.  Please be kind and let's defer this matter to another day.  I have $10 grand for each of you to postpone this just a few weeks. Please?

 

CALACAS

We set not by gold, silver nor, riches,

Nor by pope, emperor, king, duke, nor princes.

 

EVERYBRO

Oh Death, you are too early.  I have lots to do.  My wife and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary, and we are all packed and ready to go.  If I can't take this vacation to the Caribbean, my wife will kill me.

 

CALACAS (all together)

(Pause).  Duh?

 

 

 

EVERYDUDE

Death!  Tell you what.  Can I have someone go for me?  You (to an audience member), how about it?   Help me out here, please.  How about you (runs over a few people to ask someone else)?  Feel like going on a long journey?  Oh, come on, somebody please help me.  Death, here, this guy said he'd go for me (points to an audience member).

 

CALACAS

It cannot be by no way.

 

(EVERYDUDE motions to the others to come and huddle, which they do quickly, onstage right.  They then take kneeling positions in front of the four calacas stage left.  A "darkening" draws in to the pleas of Everyman.)

 

EVERYWOMAN

Death, if we agree to go with you, can we come back afterwards?

 

(The Calacas just stare at her.)

 

EVERYBRO

I think I can answer that one for you.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Never mind.

 

EVERYDUDE

Now, gentle Death, spare me till to-morrow!

 

CALACAS

By no way!

 

EVERYBRO

But Death, you don't understand.  I'm not ready.

 

CALACAS

No one is ever ready. 

 

CALACAS

Believe me , we know that from experience.

 

EVERYBRO

Death, my boys will be alone without me.  I can't abandon them now.

 

EVERYDUDE

And I live with my dad since my mom died.  He'd be all by himself with no one to care for him.  Don't make his life so hard, Death, please.

 

EVERYWOMAN

My business would fold.  At least let me get my affairs in order.

 

CALACAS

Death is not a counselor.  We arrange no deals. 

 

CALACAS

You must go when your time is up.

 

EVERYWOMAN

But, I don't think we can pass the test.

 

CALACAS

What test.?

 

EVERYBRO

God's test.

 

CALACAS

Do you mean that you've been bad?

 

EVERYBRO

No, not bad.

 

CALACAS

Well, have you been good?

 

EVERYBRO

Probably not, no.

 

CALACAS

Haven't you tried to help others in your life?

 

CALACAS

Have you not done any Good Deeds?

 

EVERYDUDE

Maybe. 

 

EVERYWOMAN

Sometimes.

 

EVERYBRO

Once or twice.

 

CALACAS

Why not?

 

EVERYBRO

Well, it's Hard to be Good.

 

(Music.  Everypersons sing "Hard to be Good" stage right, to the tune of Fumble Fingers' "Hide from your Heart.")

 

EVERYDUDE

it so hard to be good

when your life has so many problems

and you suffer to just get through a day

my childhood was dark

abuse i took was harsh

how can I help someone else

i can't stand myself

to try and be good

 

(PERDITA crosses during the next verse.)

 

EVERYWOMAN

yes, it's hard to be good

when life's path takes you away

from people who could really use my help

I work hard all day

no time to stray

homeless I never see

the freeway's what keeps me

from being good

 

EVERYP (together)

hard to be good

hard to be good

 

EVERYBRO

yes, it's hard to be good

when there's so little time

my kids need attention every day

the schedule is tight

i run to make it right

wish I could donate

but I'm in work by 8

so hard to be good

 

EVERYP (together)

hard to be good

hard to be good

 

It's hard to be good

to give money to the poor

or volunteer in the neighborhood

I wish I could save

the victims of pain

but modern life is fast

my help won't even last

too hard to be good

 

hard to be good

hard to be good

 

(Music stops.)

 

CALACAS

You should sing that song to your God

 

CALACAS

It matters nothing to us

 

EVERYWOMAN

But please Death, can't you help us?

 

CALACAS

No.

 

CALACAS

The only help death can bring is to decrease the surplus population

 

EVERYBRO

Please, don't be a Scrooge.  Can't you see how lonely we will be: Alone forever!

 

CALACAS

Oh, it sounds like it will be pretty crowded where you're going.

 

EVERYDUDE

Death, can't I have someone go with me on my final journey?

 

EVERYBRO

Brother, I'm so very afraid.  Grant us some comfort.

 

EVERYDUDE

For the end?  Our last moment in life?  Before we face this endless sorrow?

 

EVERYWOMAN

Have mercy on us in this most need;

Shall we have no company from this vale terrestrial

 

CALACAS

Fine.  If you can find someone foolish enough to go with you.

 

EVERYBRO

Really?  Would you give us some time to find someone?

 

CALACAS

See thou make thee ready shortly,

 

CALACAS

There is no tarrying when the Lord to thee calls.

 

 

EVERYWOMAN

We understand.  And we thank you.

I will search for one who will join me.

 

(EVERYWOMAN crosses to the stage left aisle and up to the middle to join the Calacas there.)

 

EVERYBRO

I too shall look for that friend, that loving soul

Who can join me in this grievous passage

 

(EVERYBRO crosses to the stage right aisle and up to the upper audience to join the Calacas there.)

 

EVERYDUDE

And I will scour the earth for someone who cares

Someone who knows the depth of this pain

 

(EVERYDUDE crosses to the stage right aisle to join the Calacas there with the low audience.)

 

CALACAS

Come then, Everyman

 

CALACAS

Search for your partner

 

CALACAS

Find out who will go with you to your grave

 

(Each EVERYPERSON turns back to their specific audience section.)

 

 

EVERYWOMAN

Ladies and Gentlemen of my audience, Death bade me go on a pilgrimage.  I must go find a character who will join me.

 

EVERYBRO

Ladies and Gentlemen of my audience, I am commanded to go, and I must ask some other characters to join my pilgrimage.

 

EVERYDUDE

Ladies and Gentlemen of my audience, I am beset by Death to go, and I need to gather friends for my spiritual journey.

 

EVERYMAN (together)

Good pilgrims, journey with us.

 

EVERYBRO

I will search for Fellowship, Knowledge, and Beauty,

 

EVERYWOMAN

Five Wits, Strength, and Goods,

 

EVERYDUDE

Kindred, Discretion, and Good Deeds.

 

EVERYMAN (together)

They will surely accompany me.

 

CALACAS

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following three short scenes take place in locations around the main theatre.  They represent the pilgrimage that Everyman must take to save their soul.  Please follow us to Act Two of Everyman dot dot the Musical.

 

(EVERYMAN and four calacas for each section positioned either on the stage or in the empty rows and aisles, encourage the audience to follow, with gestures and movements toward their exits.)

 

CALACAS (for Low)

(pointing stage right) Ladies and Gentlemen of the Low audience, we ask you to join EveryDude to witness the next scene.

 

EVERYDUDE

This way, fellow pilgrims.

 

(EVERYDUDE heads to the stage right corner.)

 

 

CALACAS (for Middle)

(pointing stage left) Ladies and Gentlemen of the Middle audience, we ask you to join EveryWoman to witness the next scene.

 

EVERYWOMAN

This way, fellow pilgrims.

 

(EVERYWOMAN heads to the stage left door in the house.)

 

CALACAS (for High)

(pointing stage right) Ladies and Gentlemen of the High audience, we ask you to join EveryBro to witness the next scene.

 

EVERYBRO

This way, fellow pilgrims.

 

(EVERYBRO heads to the stage right aisle door in the house.)

 

(NOTE: The audience will need encouragement to get up and move, so Calacas should be prepared to offer them clear lines like the following:)

 

CALACAS

This way folks, you don't want to miss these scenes.

Don't worry, we're not going to kill you.

You'll love it; wait til you see how we do the next scenes.

It's not far at all; it's right outside the main theatre;

There are seats set up in the next space;

Watch your step here;

 

(Once the audience is up and moving on the pilgrimage, the calacas sing The Pilgrim's Song, to the tune of " Anni Novi Novitas.")

 

CALACAS

Onward, pilgrims, onward now

souls are walking onward

say a prayer for one who's gone

onward, onward, onward.

 

(This verse is repeated over and over, and Calacas should train their pilgrims to learn it so that all should be singing it by the last pilgrimage.  At maybe two spots in each pilgrimage, one calacas, with the help of the others to hold the travelers, can solo the following verses.  Or two of them can be the finish of the pilgrimage.)

 

pilgrims give some thought to this

who would you approach to

ask their help on your dark ride

to the grim hereafter?

 

Everyman has had their Strength

some of us have Five Wits

Goods can't help you save your soul

but maybe caring can win

 

pilgrims have you thought about

a reckoning of your life

would it amount to anything

or just a zero balance

 

Beauty doesn't last too long

and Knowledge ain't forever

Greed may dim your very soul

and leave you not so clever

 

pilgrims can you forsake pride

give up your lust and envy

you can't just play to save your soul

make gluttony your enemy

 

Fellowship was not a friend

Kindred hardly family

if you want to save your soul

Discretion won't be worthy

 

(EVERYBRO and his Calacas lead the High Pilgrims out the west side door and down and into the Edison; EVERYWOMAN and her Calacas lead the Middle Pilgrims out the east side doors to OUTSIDE; and EVERYDUDE and his Calacas lead the Low Pilgrims across the stage, through the Hellmouth and into the Stage Left Wings;)

 

(END OF ACT ONE.)


Act Two

 

SETTING:           There is no intermission.  The following three scenes take place simultaneously in the Edison, Outside and Onstage (cued by ASMs at each location, or a Calaca with headphones).   Certain musicians from the band stay in each location.  In case of any delays from other locations, each of the traveling Calacas groups should have "Calaca business" (dead jokes, juggling, quotes from Dante, etc.) prepared to delay until each cue to start is given.  The scenes are all designed to finish at the same time.

 

                  Approximately 40 chairs are already set in the three locations, and calacas help pilgrims to sit.  Each scene begins with Everyp. pacing back and forth, grumbling quietly about his/her options while the Calacas, interacting with the audience members, help the last ones to sit, or comfortably stand.  The ASM for each location gives the Stage Manager a Ready cue on headset when their audience is seated and the actors and musicians are in place.  Only then does the Stage Manager call the cue to begin each scene simultaneously.

 

                  After each scene, the pilgrims and their Everyperson travel clockwise (e.g. from Edison, to Stage, to Outside).  During the transitions from the Edison to the Stage, calacas can point out the makeup area restrooms for anyone who needs them, and bring the member back to the Stage.  PERDITA should also cross down the hallway for each pilgrimage through there.

                  At the end, after everyone sees their third scene, the calacas lead them back to the main theatre (High Pilgrims in Outside through side doors into House; Mid Pilgrims on Stage up Stage left aisle; Low Pilgrims in Edison exit outside and then into side doors).  Calacas should talk with the audience as they return, asking them if they liked moving around, assuring them that we will stay put for the rest, asking if they need anything, etc.

 

Special Note: In case it rains, the outside scene moves to the house:

     High Pilgrims still go to the Edison with Everybro, but down the stage right aisle steps and across the stage to the hallway, then into the Edison;

     Middle Pilgrims stay seated and have the Outside scene played to them (drop curtain);

     Low Pilgrims still go through Hellmouth to the Stage, but down the stage left aisle;

For Rain, scenes will travel clockwise so that High starts at Edison, then Onstage, then up the stage left aisle to their original seats where the Outside scene is played at them; after third scenes, Middle Pilgrims return from Stage up the stage left aisle to their seats, and Low Pilgrims return from Edison over the stage to house left aisle.

Outside Scene

 

 (Audience sits on chairs outside facing the main building; Everyp. paces.)

 

EVERYP. (either Everybro, Everywoman, or Everydude)

(To him/herself) Who can go with me?  Who is someone who can lighten my burden in this dark journey?  I know, I will ask Beauty.  She lives high up in Palos Verdes looking out over the Pacific like a queen on a throne.  She has always been willing to accompany me in the past.  (calling out)  Beauty!  Beauty!  I need you.  Please, attend me.  It's Every .... calling. Where are you?

 

(BEAUTY enters, parading down the lobby steps to the pilgrims.)

 

BEAUTY

I'm up here, Every ... (either EveryBro, EveryWoman or EveryDude).  I'm on my way to the prom.  Is this important?

 

EVERYP.

You're going to the prom?

 

BEAUTY

Of course, silly.  It's the major spring event at PV High you know.  And I'm going with Great Tan.  You know he's going to make all the other queens jealous. 

 

EVERYP

Please, Beauty.  I have an urgent request.  I need your help.

 

BEAUTY

What's wrong, Every ...?  You look terrible.  Are you using conditioner?

 

EVERYP.

I need your help in a desperate matter.

 

BEAUTY

What will ye that we should do?  You know I'm there for you.

 

EVERYP.

I hope so, because my heart would break if you left me alone to face this most terrible journey.

 

BEAUTY

A journey?  I love traveling.  Mom and I just got back from Europe.  Even if you had to go to hell, you know I'd join you.

 

EVERYP.

Excellent.  Just what I needed to hear.

 

(Music: "A Reckoning Straight."  EVERYP. solo)

 

Commanded I am to go on a journey,

A dangerous path, hard and stoney,

I must give a reckoning straight,

for my account the high judge waits

I pray your company, til my last breath,

On my pilgrimage to Death

 

(Music stops.  BEAUTY is frozen in thought as KNOWLEDGE enters.)

 

EVERYP.

What luck!  I see my old colleague, Knowledge.  If he and Beauty can join me, I would be so fortunate.  Knowledge!  Knowledge!

 

(Music: "Pomp and Circumstance" as KNOWLEDGE processions himself down the lobby steps.)

 

 My learned colleague.  Welcome.

 

KNOWLEDGE

What seems to be so distressful to you, Every ...?

 

EVERYP.

Oh Knowledge, you who have served here as a professor at CSU Dominguez for so many years and achieved such a great reputation for helping others.  Please grant me one request.

 

KNOWLEDGE

Are you going to ask me for another letter of recommendation?  Do you know how many I've done for you?

 

EVERYP.

Oh no, this is different.

 

KNOWLEDGE

Not a change of grade, I hope.

 

EVERYP.

No, no.  But this concerns my most final grade, sir.

 

KNOWLEDGE

English, please?

 

(Music.  EVERYP. solo)

 

EVERYP

Commanded I am to go on a journey,

A dangerous path, hard and stoney,

I must give a reckoning straight,

for my account the high judge waits

I pray your company, til my last breath,

On my pilgrimage to Death.

 

(Music stops.  KNOWLEDGE  also considers the request, and shares it privately with BEAUTY.  EVERYP. is anxious and begins pacing, while GREEDINESS enters, handing out business cards to the audience.)

 

GREEDINESS

Anyone looking to buy here?  (to another)  At Century 21, we're good listeners.  Got a beautiful two bedroom with hardwood floors in a great area of Lawndale.

 

EVERYP.

Greediness!  I'm glad you're here. 

 

GREEDINESS

Glad to hear that.  Oh Every ...  Great!  Yes, it's listed for 420, and it's close to El Camino College but private, nice!

 

EVERYP

No, Greediness, I'm not out to buy right now.  I have a major move to make.

 

GREEDINESS

Ah, music to my ears.  I can get you 2 million for your place.  When do you have to leave. 

 

EVERYP

Greediness, I don't need any real estate where I'm going.

 

GREEDINESS

Don't ever say that.  What's the matter?

 

EVERYP

I just need you to go on a short trip with me.

 

GREEDINESS

No, I got to get to Lawndale Christian Church.  They have a community meeting tonight, and I have to get some new prospects.

 

EVERYP

Greediness, I will give you free advertizing on the Lawndale freeway sign if you go with me.

 

GREEDINESS

The one with Einstein on it?  Sure, I'll take it.  But where do I have to go?

 

(Music.  "A Reckoning Straight.")

 

EVERYP

Commanded I am to go on a journey,

A dangerous path, hard and stoney,

I must give a reckoning straight,

for my account the high judge waits

I pray your company, til my last breath,

On my pilgrimage to Death.

 

BEAUTY, KNOWLEDGE, GREEDINESS (together)

You really can't be serious

I think that he's (she's) delerious

When you do give a reckoning straight,

Don't look for us, we have no date

Who would join your trail of tears

Not even a friend of 50 years

Though everyone does that descent

We'll wait for our own sad event

 

EVERYP

But I am in great jeopardy.

Please give heed, dear friends, to me.

I only ask for you to walk

A ways with me, so we can talk

 

BEAUTY

You want my gown to get all dirty

Down in the ground I won't look purty

My look is what's my reckoning straight

I can't give it up, there's no debate.

 

EVERYP

Beauty, stay, I need you now

No one looks at hot as thou

 

BEAUTY

You got to be kidding, not even for sex

Would I miss my prom, so make your exit

 

EVERYP

Please good Knowledge, Greed, you too

You both have gained from searching life through

I pray you, help me in this need,

To make my reckoning succeed

 

KNOWLEDGE

Every ..., I'm really swamped

I'm giving a test in English comp

Go try the office of the Dean

They'll tell you to wait til Halloween.

 

GREEDINESS

Every ...., I'm just the wrong guy

I'm out for myself, like you, goodbye

What makes you think I'd follow you?

Dang, my soul's in torment too

 

KNOWLEDGE

My reckoning straight is the notes I've taken

they will soon be published by Allyn and Bacon.

 

GREEDINESS

Real estate reckonings are just routine

my property listings steal the scene

 

EVERYP

Friends, I beg again, do not be gone,

How can I bear my death alone?

I fear that if you abandon me

My record shall look so cold, empty

 

CHORUS

Farewell, Every ...., we're just too busy

But to ask us to go must mean you are dizzy

Therefore farewell til another day.

We'll see you soon, you'll be okay.

 

(BEAUTY, KNOWLEDGE and GREEDINESS exit together.  EVERYP is alone.)

 

EVERYP

O, to whom shall I make my moan

Of whom shall now counsel take?

I must journey further to find the one

Who will bring me to my death

Come with me friends!

 

(EVERYP exits to the east doors, heading toward the Edison through the rows of seats in the main house.  The Calacas gather the audience.)

 

CALACAS

Ladies and gentlemen, please join us as we continue our pilgrimage. 

 

CALACAS

Follow Every .... as he/she pursues someone to share in his untimely death.

 

CALACAS

This way, folks.  Watch your step please.

 

(Calacas lead the audience onto the Edison, singing The Pilgrim's Song.)

 

Onward, onward, praying as we go

Hoping that someone we'll know


 

 

Edison Scene

 

(Audience sits on desks facing a large covered table backed by a flat or curtain.)

 

EVERYP. (either Everybro, Everywoman, or Everydude)

(Pacing) Who can go with me?  For this terrible journey, I will need someone to keep me strong.  Someone who has power and fortitude.  I know.  I have relied on Strength many times before.  He is a weight-lifter from Redondo Beach, and always works out on the beach.  He will surely accompany me on my pilgrimage to death.  (calling out)  Strength!  Strength! I need you.  Please, attend me.  It's Every .... calling.  Where are you?

 

(STRENGTH enters, a weight-lifting puppet in He-Man outfit, from under the table with the puppeteer who stands and speaks for him, visible to the audience.)

 

STRENGTH

Every ..., (either EveryBro, EveryWoman or EveryDude)!  What are you doing here?  Want to work into my routine with me?

 

EVERYP

No, Strength, I can pump iron no more.  I need to ask you to go somewhere with me.

 

STRENGTH

But I'm in the middle of a set, Every ...  Have you thought of asking Goods?  You know that she's doing very well.

 

EVERYP

That is a good idea. All my life I have loved riches.  I shall call her too.  Where art thou, my Goods and riches?  Goods!  Where are you?

 

(GOODS, a well-dressed puppet with bling.)

 

GOODS

I'm here Every ....  Just back from my bank in Lomita.  Piled high and ready to serve you.

 

EVERYP

That's very good, Goods.  For good counsel I must desire thee.

 

GOODS

Well, gladly, of course, but haven't you considered the one with the real brains?  Our friends, Five Wits.  Why not ask them for advice?

 

EVERYP

That is true.  Thanks good Goods, I shall them call.  (calling)  Five Wits?  Five Wits? 

 

STRENGTH

Wait a minute.  I never understood.  What are the Five Wits that Five Wits has?

 

GOODS

Oh, Strength, of course you wouldn't know.  YouÕre all braun, and not brains.

 

STRENGTH

Hey, I asked you didnÕt I?  So what are they?

 

EVERYP

LetÕs ask Five Wits!  Hey, Five Wits?  Are you here?  I need your help.  Five Wits!

 

(FIVE WITS, a five headed puppet from San Pedro, enters above the curtain.  ŅTheyÓ are a huge mask of five heads).

 

FIVE WITS

Every É, what are you doing around here?  And Strength, and Goods?  WhatÕs the occasion? 

 

STRENGTH

Of, itÕs Every É  He/she has some problem.

 

FIVE WITS

WhatÕs wrong Every É?

 

EVERYP

IÕm in a bad situation Five Wits.  And I need your help!

 

FIVE WITS

Do you need some intellectual advice?  As you know I have Common Sense, to give you practical judgments.  I have imagination, to help you see whatÕs not there, and fantasy, to give you pictures of whatÕs not real. 

 

GOODS

What else, Five Wits?  You have so much.  I like that!

 

FIVE WITS

I also have Estimation, which our judges use all the time, and finally, the Fifth Wit, Memory, to store it all!

 

 

STRENGTH

Dang!  YouÕre vast, Five Wits!

 

FIVE WITS

Yes, students know me as the General Education requirement, for my breadth of knowledge. 

 

EVERYP

Please, please, good friends.  I have no need anymore for a breadth requirement.  I am sadly, enrolling for my death requirement!

 

CHORUS (all three)

Ahhhhh.  Did you say Death! 

 

EVERYP

Yes, my friends. 

 

(Music.  EVERY É sings solo lead in to "Such Voyages.")

 

I'm commanded by these messengers,

For a pilgrimage to my pain,

Of all my works I must show

If I have spent my days in vain;

Therefore I pray you thither proceed,

To help make account of all my deeds.

 

STRENGTH, GOODS, 5 WITS

Death?  Death?  ThatÕs damn serious!

Every ..., What do you expect from us?

 

EVERYP

Please journey with me to my grave,

And help my suffering soul to save

 

STRENGTH, GOODS, 5 WITS

Yuk! Gross!  Fie! Get away!

Such voyages we will not obey

 

STRENGTH

Not strong enough for that my friend

Though I can bench press over 3 hundred

no power stronger than Death exists

though many people so often wondered

 

EVERYP

But you are what makes Superman strong

Without you what would happen to heroes

Hurcules, Batman,  Shaq or the Governor

Need physical Strength to make them glow

 

STRENGTH

you want me to give my body to your grave

No one out wrestles Death you know

To conquer the dark, we'd have to have

The Rock or Rey Mysterio.

 

EVERYP

Will you not go with me dear Strength?

that I may rest and my soul commend

 

STRENGTH

I cannot go with you to your grave

I follow no man to such a dead end

 

STRENGTH, GOODS, AND 5 WITS

We follow no man in such voyages;

You need to make your account alone

If you had helped to comfort the poor

your soul would be safe from eternal unknown

 

EVERYP

dear Goods, with you I have known in my life

such pleasure and joy, in riches and bling

 

GOODS

I'm piled so high, Everyhomie, with jewels

That I think I would like to add a nose ring

 

EVERYP

I come to thee my moan to make

pray go with me to show my account

You can catch Tupac on his latest tour

It would cost just a small indefinite amount

 

GOODS

Evie, get over it; I'm not yours to keep;

Did you think I was thine forever to hold

You canÕt take it with you, that's Kaufman and Hart

for a while I was lent thee, until you got old

 

EVERYP

But I always heard from those in the know

money maketh right, that which is wrong

 

 

GOODS

Not in the next world, my friend, not so,

But maybe in some  old religious song.

 

EVERYP

Alas, I have loved thee, and had great pleasure

All my years getting goods and treasure.

 

GOODS

my love is contrary to love everlasting.

I follow no man one foot, be ye king.

 

STRENGTH, GOODS, AND 5 WITS

We follow no man in such voyages;

You need to make your account alone

If you had helped to comfort the poor

your soul would be safe from eternal unknown

 

EVERYP

Five Wits, you can't forsake me, good friend

let's find a way out using one of your heads

if your imagination can help

my soul won't end up spiritually dead

 

FIVE WITS

like every student with memory loss

Forgotten have you your life of pleasure

you gave away little and now have nothing

but spent precious time relaxing at leisure

 

EVERYP

I have been selfish, but now I need

that ye with everyman would go

and bring your brains to calculate

the items from my record for my god to know

 

FIVE WITS

You have lost your Common Sense

And only live for today

the giver acquires the fullness of life

the taker, gains only a empty hand

 

EVERYP

Oh friends, will ye forsake me now?

Death may bloweth his blast very soon

don't run from me full fast just yet

please wait at least until twelve noon

 

STRENGTH, GOODS, AND 5 WITS

We follow no man in such voyages;

You need to make your account alone

If you had helped to comfort the poor

your soul would be safe from eternal unknown

 

(STRENGTH, GOODS, AND 5 WITS exit together.  EVERYP is alone.)

 

EVERYP

O, to whom shall I make my moan

Of whom shall now counsel take?

I must journey further to find the one

Who will bring me to my death

Come with me friends!

 

(EVERYP exits to the Edison hallway doors, and the Calacas gather the audience to follow to the ONSTAGE scene.)

 

CALACAS

Ladies and gentlemen, please join us as we continue our pilgrimage. 

 

CALACAS

Follow Every .... as he/she pursues someone to share in his untimely death.

 

CALACAS

This way, folks.  Watch your step please.

 

(Calacas lead the audience onto the stage, singing The Pilgrim's Song.)

 

Onward, onward, praying as we go

Hoping that someone we'll know

Onstage Scene

 

(Audience sits on chairs, offstage, upstage left of the hellmouth.  Six rows of three sit above the flats, facing the metal stairs, and another six rows of three sit in the left wings facing the stairs, making an "L" shaped audience.  Already set on the second level stairwell but unlit, KINDRED poses in a family portrait.)

 

EVERYP. (either Everybro, Everywoman, or Everydude)

(Pacing) Who can go with me?  Who can comfort these pains huge and great that I feel inside?  The fear of losing my soul is too much; I need someone to save me from an eternity of suffering.  I always remember that when you are most desperate, you need to return to your family.  I must call for Kindred.  My relatives will surely bear me company to my grave.  Kindred!

 

(EVERYP begins to call but lites up quickly on KINDRED.)

 

MOTHER

Estamos aqu’ (we are here) Every ... (either EveryBro, EveryWoman or EveryDude).   Up here.

 

GRANDFATHER

Every ...., you sound desperate, lo que est‡ mal (what's wrong)?

 

SISTER 1

Are you hurt, brother.  Sister and I can help you.

 

BROTHER

Hey mano, quˇ pasa?

 

EVERYP

Kindred, gracias.  How great to be home again!

 

SISTER 2

You know that you can always come home to your Kindred, mi hermano!  But you seem de manera agitada hermano peque–o (so troubled little brother).  What's up?

 

EVERYP

Before I tell you, I just have to ask.  Why do you look so different from my real mother and grandfather and sisters and brother?  You're Latino aren't you?

 

 

 

MOTHER

Every ., we're allegorical characters! Nosotros representamos a todas las familias (we stand for all families).

 

EVERP

Oh, right.  Okay.  Lo siento.

 

SISTER 1

But we're from Carson.

 

MOTHER

Yes, we're right around the corner from the Apollo Burger on Wilmington.

 

EVERYP

Oh, I've been there many times.  That's great.

 

BROTHER

So, bro, back on task here.   Lo que est‡ mal (what's wrong)?

 

EVERYP

Right.  Well, .....

 

(Music.  EVERYP begins "On Me Thou Canst Rely.")

 

EVERYP

I've met with a grim visitor

who has me in great jeopardy

my soul will be lost without

the help of those close to me

 

KINDRED

Families are the closest you can get

juntos (together) we live and die

In wealth and woe we're with you

On we thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

my enemy is great and

could frighten you away

pray help in my necessity

good family, please stay

 

KINDRED

we'd love you hasta (until) the end

and beyond if death dropped by

so show us your intent

On we thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

I must show my works

Before my higher power,

'tis the grief of my mind

please join my final hour?

 

KINDRED (together)

Muerte? (Death?)

 

GRANDFATHER

ĄEst‡ grave? (Are you serious?)

 

SISTER

No way!

 

BROTHER

Forget it, bro!

 

MOTHER

Every ..., are you really at the end?

 

EVERYP

Yes, and I sorely need your help.  You said that a family is the strongest bond anyperson can find.

 

SISTER 2

But you won't find me jumping into your grave with you.

 

SISTER 1

Count me out, mano, that's whack!

 

SISTER 2

Eeeeuuuu!  Going to your grave with you? Ąc—mo podr’a hasta usted pensar preguntarme? (how could you even think of asking me).

 

EVERYP

Sister, I pray you thither with me.

 

SISTER 2

Thither?  Every ..., ye shall go solo (alone).

 

EVERYP

Grandfather, do not forsake your grandchild.

 

GRANDFATHER

Every ..., adios muchacho, for verily, I will not go with you.

 

EVERYP

Mother, will you not with me go?

 

 

MOTHER

Hijo, I have a cramp in my toe.

 

(Lites down on KINDRED.)

 

EVERYP

Alas, that I was ever bore!   My kinsmen promised to abide with me, but now fast away do flee.  After one's family, what friend is there?  That's it!  I shall call Fellowship.  She has been a good friend for many a day, and I trust that she will bear me company to my grave.  Fellowship?  Fellowship?  Your good friend, Every ... calls.

 

(FELLOWSHIP calls back from down below the stairs.  Lites up on the lower level.)

 

FELLOWSHIP

Every ....?  Every ..., is that you? 

 

EVERYP

Fellowship, where are you?

 

FELLOWSHIP

I'm down here in Lomita, getting myself ....

 

EVERYP

My good friend, I need you badly up here.

 

FELLOWSHIP

Where are you?

 

EVERYP

I'm at Dominguez.

 

(FELLOWSHIP appears up the stairs.)

 

FELLOWSHIP

What?  You're not going to school here, are you?

 

EVERYP

Oh, no. 

 

FELLOWSHIP

My friend, why lookest thou so piteously?  If anything's wrong, tell me, that I may help to remedy.

 

EVERYP

Fellowship, I'm screwed!

 

FELLOWSHIP

Wouldn't be the first time.  But show me your mind.  I will not forsake thee, unto my life's end.

 

EVERYP

Well spoken, good friend.  But I am lost.

 

FELLOWSHIP

What?   I must needs know your heaviness.

 

EVERYP

Well .......

 

(Music.  EVERYP begins "On Me Thou Canst Rely.")

 

EVERYP

I've met with a grim visitor

who has me in great jeopardy

my soul will be lost without

the help of one close to me

 

FELLOWSHIP

friends are the closest you can get

for Every .... I standby

I pity your distress

On me thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

I've found you true before

good fellowship, please stay

your company is kind

my journey begins today

 

FELLOWSHIP

my friendship is eternal

to hell I'd be your ally

so show me now your grief

On me thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

I must show my works

Before my higher power,

'tis the grief of my mind

please join my final hour?

 

FELLOWSHIP

Death?  For real?

 

EVERYP

Yes, for real.   My gentle Fellowship, remember me.  We have loved long, and now I need your care more than ever.

 

FELLOWSHIP

Whether ye have loved me or no, I will not a foot with thee go.

 

EVERYP

But you promised otherwise!

 

FELLOWSHIP

I will not go on that loath journey, not for the mother that begat me. 

 

EVERYP

But what should I do if you forsake me?

 

FELLOWSHIP

Well, you might contact your lawyer.

 

EVERYP

Do not leave me, good friend.

 

FELLOWSHIP

Farewell, Every ..., God speed thee in thy journey.

 

(FELLOWSHIP descends the steps and lites fade out there.)

 

EVERYP

Farewell good Fellowship, for this my heart is sore.  If my family and friends cannot go with me, who can I turn to?  Maybe I should call my lawyer. 

 

(EVERYP pulls out a cellphone, and speed dials.  Distant tone heard.  Lites up on DISCRETION, with briefcase, Starbucks, and cell phone, up on the third level of steps.)

 

DISCRETION

Discretion here.  What's your case?

 

EVERYP

Discretion, it's Every ...., and I sorely need your sound advisement.

 

DISCRETION

Again?  Every .... did you disobey your restraining order?

 

 

EVERYP

No, it's not that.  Are you at your office in Torrance?

 

DISCRETION

Yes, but I have someone coming over to be deposed right now.  What the problem, Every ....?

 

EVERYP

Well ....

 

(Music.  EVERYP begins "On Me Thou Canst Rely.")

 

EVERYP

I've met with a grim visitor

who has me in great jeopardy

my soul will be lost without

the help of one close to me

 

DISCRETION

a lawyer's your closest friend

you're in trouble, don't cry

you've got good representation

On me thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

Discretion, please advise

my enemy's no saint

a journey they demand

that's mainly the complaint

 

DISCRETION

you are called to their court?

for that I don't know why

I'll start a motion for judgment

On me thou canst rely

 

EVERYP

I must show my works

Before my higher power,

'tis the grief of my mind

please join my final hour?

 

(DISCRETION hangs up and leaves.  Lites down on the upper level.)

 

 

 

EVERYP

Discretion?  Can you hear me?  Discretion, are you there?  (closes the phone).  He's hung up.  My own lawyer!

 

(CALACAS enter, sympathetic to EVERYP.)

 

CALACAS

Every ..., don't be sad.  Hey, why won't sharks attack lawyers? 

 

EVERYP

I don't know, why.

 

CALACAS

Professional courtesy!

 

(CALACAS laugh heartily.)

 

CALACAS

Every ..., How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? 

 

EVERYP

I don't know, how.

 

CALACAS

His lips are moving!

 

(CALACAS laugh heartily. EVERYP cracks a smile.)

 

CALACAS

Every ..., Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?? 

 

EVERYP

I don't know, why.

 

CALACAS

To practice!

 

(CALACAS and EVERYP laugh.)

 

CALACAS

Every ..., What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his head in sand? 

 

EVERYP

Not enough sand!

 

(CALACAS and EVERYP laugh heartily.)

 

EVERYP

(now serious).  Alas, whereto may I trust?

O, to whom shall I make my moan

Of whom shall now counsel take?

I must journey further to find the one

Who will bring me to my death

Come with me friends!

 

(EVERYP exits to the Stage Left wing door to Outside, and the Calacas gather the audience to follow to the OUTSIDE scene.)

 

CALACAS

Ladies and gentlemen, please join us as we continue our pilgrimage. 

 

CALACAS

Follow Every .... as he/she pursues someone to share in his untimely death.

 

CALACAS

This way, folks.  Watch your step please.

 

(Calacas lead the audience outside, singing The Pilgrim's Song.)

 

Onward, onward, praying as we go

Hoping that someone we'll know

 

 

(END OF ACT TWO.)

Act Three

 

SETTING:           The audience returns to the main theatre, led by the CALACAS, and their EVERYP. stays onstage.  The band is playing a welcoming song, as they file to their seats.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Everyone abandoned us!

 

EVERYBRO

Hard to believe.

 

EVERYDUDE

Will no one go with us?

 

EVERYWOMAN

I thought Beauty would follow, and surely Five Wits, but Discretion showed his true colors, selfishness.

 

EVERYBRO

And why did Strength not follow?  Or Knowledge?  But to have our Kindred forsake us, that hurt.

 

EVERYDUDE

Not as much as losing Fellowship who I thought my only friend.  And what's with Greediness, or Goods?  They betrayed us.

 

EVERYWOMAN

They all betrayed us, for being false. 

 

EVERYBRO

And now we are alone. 

 

EVERYDUDE

Left to turn to the earth and there to sleep.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Without anything to show for our reckoning.  Have you anything to show our maker?

 

EVERYBRO

Nothing.  I fear the worst now.

 

EVERYDUDE

Me too.  How bogus.

 

(CALACAS begin their move from the audience to the stage. They all call out to Everyman.)

 

CALACAS

Everyman!  Everyman!  Everyman!

 

EVERYMAN (all, frozen)

What do you want?

 

CALACAS

You have failed in your pilgrimage.

 

CALACAS

No one has joined you on your journey.

 

EVERYBRO

I know.  But we're still working on it.

 

EVERYDUDE

Yeah, can we have just five minutes?

 

CALACAS

Nay, thereto we will not consent.

 

(CALACAS are down right and down left, with EVERYP in the center.)

 

CALACAS (together)

It is your time to come before God's magnificence

Thy reckoning to give before his or her presence

 

EVERYWOMAN

But, what if we're not ready?

 

CALACAS

Not ready?

 

EVERYBRO

With our reckoning to our maker.  What if the accounts from our life are empty?

 

EVERYDUDE

Yes, what if we have nothing to show?

 

CALACAS (whispered between them)

Nothing to show?

 

 

CALACAS

If you have nothing to show, then do we have a show for you!

 

(CALACAS laugh eerily as the Hellmouth comes alive with lights and bursts of smoke.  Music: "Hellmouth is Waiting."  CALACAS dance around EVERYP for two minutes, first encircling them, then dragging each upstage to the front of the mouth; then they add the song.)

 

CALACAS

Hellmouth is waiting; waiting for you

If you have nothing to show

your higher power will tell you straight

a noshow? down you go!

 

the entrance to Hell is open to all

and most do go this way

Everyman has a permanent address

someplace warm to stay

 

EveryBro, EveryDude, EveryWoman, Everydog,

EveryKid, EveryCat, EverySon

EveryFlower, EveryBug, EveryRabbi, EveryJock,

EveryPinoy, EveryDaughter, EveryOne.

                                

With nothing to show, the devils will come

and escort you down there

oops i hear them coming now

best prepare for a scare!

 

(Smoke and screams from Hellmouth as the DEVILS enter.  Music goes into a Hell Riff.  They terrify EVERYP.  Back to chorus.)

 

DEVILS

EveryBro, EveryDude, EveryWoman, Everydog,

EveryKid, EveryCat, EverySon

EveryFlower, EveryBug, EveryRabbi, EveryJock,

EveryPinoy, EveryDaughter, EveryOne.

 

(Music stops abruptly.  The Devils face the audience.)

 

MICK

Is Caitlin Jones here?  Caitlin, where are you? 

 

 

BEL

You know it's your time, Caitlin.

 

MR. SCRATCH

Time to go, Caitlin!

 

(CAITLIN, a woman sitting in the audience, screams and gets up to run up the aisle.  Musical vamp.)

 

BEL

There she is!

 

MICK

Get her, Bel.  Don't let her get away!

 

(BEL and MR. SCRATCH run up the aisle aisle.  It has to be played full out, so they should drag CAITLIN to the Hellmouth as she screams.)

 

CAITLIN

No, let me go. It's not my time.  You've got the wrong girl.  Let me go.

 

BEL

We've got her, Mick. 

 

MICK

Good work, Bel.  Hold her Mr. Scratch. 

 

CAITLIN

I was really enjoying the show.  Let me go.  Please save me.  Don't let them take me. 

 

(CAITLIN is in front of the Hellmouth.)

 

MICK

Not to worry, Caitlin.  You'll have a lot of company down there!

 

CAITLIN

(crying) This isn't fair.  I'm a good girl, I am.  (as she is pulled into Hellmouth)  Gape not, Ugly Hell!

 

(They drag her down the Hellmouth which belches more smoke and screams.  Music leads back into the song.)

 

 

 

CALACAS

EveryBro, EveryDude, EveryWoman, Everydog,

EveryKid, EveryCat, EverySon

EveryFlower, EveryBug, EveryRabbi, EveryJock,

EveryPinoy, EveryDaughter, EveryOne.

 

Hellmouth is waiting; waiting for you

If you have nothing to show

your higher power will tell you straight

a noshow? down you go!

 

the entrance to Hell is open to all

and most do go this way

Everyman has a permanent address

someplace warm to stay

 

EveryBro, EveryDude, EveryWoman, Everydog,

EveryKid, EveryCat, EverySon

EveryFlower, EveryBug, EveryRabbi, EveryJock,

EveryPinoy, EveryDaughter, EveryOne.

 

(Music stops.)

 

CALACAS

Time's up, Everyperson!

 

EVERYDUDE

Oh please.  We can't go down there.

 

CALACAS

Can't avoid it.

 

EVERYWOMAN

It's hot.  I hate hot weather.

 

CALACAS

You'll get a good tan.

 

EVERYBRO

There has to be someone who can help us.

 

CALACAS

You struck out with Beauty and Goods and Discretion.

 

CALACAS

FiveWits, Fellowship and Greediness deserted you.

 

 

CALACAS

So much for Knowledge, Kindred and Strength.

 

EVERYP (together)

There must be someone who can save us.

 

(CALACAS are giggling, but faintly we can hear from off right.)

 

GOOD DEEDS (off)

I'm here.  I can save you.  Wait.  I'll be right there.

 

EVERYDUDE

Who's that.  I hear a faint voice.

 

EVERYBRO

Look, over there.

 

(GOOD DEEDS enters crawling on the floor.)

 

EVERYWOMAN

It's Good Deeds!

 

EVERYDUDE

Good Deeds.  Get up!  We can use your help.

 

EVERYBRO

Why are you crawling?  Are you disabled?

 

CALACAS (laughing)

Yes, because your sins have disabled her.  Let's go, Everypeople!

 

GOOD DEEDS

It's true.  If you had cheered me with some service to your community, you book of account now full ready would be.

 

CALACAS (still laughing)

Your Good Deeds are so weak, that she cannot stand.

 

EVERYWOMAN

And we hoped you could accompany us on our final journey.

 

GOOD DEEDS

I would gladly join you, but I cannot walk.

 

EVERYDUDE (to EVERYBRO)

Is that dramatic irony?

 

EVERYWOMAN

But you're our only hope for being saved.

 

CALACAS

Everyman, you haven't done enough Good Deeds to be saved.

 

CALACAS

Enough?  They haven't done any Good Deeds!  (more laughter)

 

CALACAS

Come on.  Your moment of departure has arrived.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Wait! Death.  That's true. You are right.  We haven't done any Good Deeds.  (She kneels next to GOOD DEEDS).  And I'm very sorry.

 

EVERYDUDE

Me too.  (also kneels)  I lost sight of how selfish I was being.  I'm sorry for not doing my share.

 

EVERYBRO

And I admit it as well.  How terrible to have lived my life and not helped another soul along the way.  I'm also sorry, Good Deeds.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Lift her.  Let's not leave her on the ground.

 

(EVERYBRO, EVERYDUDE and EVERYWOMAN lift GOOD DEEDS into something of a Pieta, attempting to comfort her.  Music: "Perdita.")

 

EVERYP.

Why have we forgotten her

how could we have left her alone

we've lived so long our days but yet

our good deeds have gone unknown

 

GOOD DEEDS

So many are wandering alone through life

so many walk without hope

they're poor, or hungry, or sick, or hurt

and lost, unable to cope

 

EVERYP.

is it because we are afraid

of reaching out to another

Or ashamed we have such little to give

why haven't we helped our brother

 

(PERDITA enters and sings.)

 

PERDITA

long years I'm wandering alone through life

my name is Perdita, the lost one,

my son once told me I made him ashamed

and everything came undone

 

I gather bottles and cans to get by

I try to keep my pride

Perdita is wandering, alone through life

Perdita feels empty inside

 

EVERYP.

we never have heard that voice before

we're sorry so deaf we have been

 

GOOD DEEDS

go to her Everyman, heal her pains

and heal yourself again

 

EVERYP.

we'd like to help you Perdita this once

if food, or shelter can serve

there's money, and medicine, comfort for you

all things that you deserve

 

PERDITA

Perdita is poor, Perdita is hungry

but not for money or food

Your caring is what I thrive upon

your presence is hope renewed

 

ALL

Perdita the lost one, she calls out to us

Wandering alone through life

heal her wounds, and heal your soul

by helping those in strife

 

(PERDITA touches them in thanks, and exits with her bags.)

 

GOOD DEEDS

I'm feeling better.   Help me up. 

 

(EVERYP. helps GOOD DEEDS to her feet, but she is still unsteady.)

 

CALACAS

Ok, let's go, folks.

 

EVERYBRO

No.  She's feeling better, Death.  Let's help her feel much better.

 

EVERYDUDE

Yes, Good Deeds, what can we do to get you healthy?

 

EVERYWOMAN

That's right.  We helped Perdita.  And we can help others too. 

 

CALACAS

Everypeople, your time is gone.  Let's head out now!

 

(UPS Man/Woman enters with package.)

 

UPS

Woa!  What kind of party do we have here?  Is it Halloween?  Did Good Deeds ever show up here? I still have this package for her.

 

(They all point at GOOD DEEDS.)

 

Well here you are young lady.  Sign right here.  (she signs.)

 

CALACAS

We're a little busy.  Do you mind?

 

UPS

No problem.  But you should let her open her package, first.  (stern, to CALACAS).  Just to be fair.

 

(Smiling, UPS exits.)

 

GOOD DEEDS

Please, open it for me.  I'm still too weak.

 

EVERYBRO

(opening)  It's a stack of flyers, printed on both sides.

 

(They study the flyers.)

 

EVERYDUDE

And there's names of organizations on them.  People Assisting the Homeless, Recovery, Inc., Mothers of AIDS Patients, Peace and Joy Care Center, Healthy Start, Saving All Kids.

 

EVERYWOMAN

And they're all from cities in the South Bay: Compton, San Pedro, Lawndale, Redondo Beach, Wilmington, Carson.

 

EVERYBRO

Hey, this is it.  This is just what we need.  I have an idea.  Come here.

 

(They huddle.  One Calaca brings out a cell phone.)

 

CALACAS

Hey, people.  We're getting other calls coming in.

 

CALACAS

Yeah, you can't hold off Death.

 

CALACAS

And we have a softball game against the Zombies tonight.  So, let's roll!

 

(EVERYP and GOOD DEEDS cross down to the edge of the stage to address the audience.  CALACAS stand around, confused.)

 

EVERYBRO

Ladies and Gentlemen, we ask you again for your kind assistance.

 

EVERYDUDE

We want to help people who are helping others.

 

EVERYWOMAN

The people who work in the South Bay organizations on this flyer are trying to help battered women, victims of AIDS, at risk youth ...

 

EVERYDUDE

families in poverty, rape victims, disadvantaged students, cancer victims,  ...

 

EVERYBRO

the disabled, victims of drug and alcohol addiction, Senior citizens,

 

GOOD DEEDS

And so many others.

 

EVERYBRO

We would like to give you each one of these

 

EVERYDUDE

Later, you might consider helping these community service organizations.

 

 

EVERYWOMAN

With a contribution, or maybe even volunteering your own time.

 

GOOD DEEDS

Let's all encourage more community service in the South Bay.

 

EVERYBRO

Anyone here tonight from Torrance, Hawthorne, or Lawndale?

 

(When audience members raise their hands, EVERYP heads out to the house and begins giving flyers.  Everyone gets the same one.)

 

EVERYDUDE

Who's from Carson, Compton, Gardena, Wilmington?

 

EVERYWOMAN

Anyone here from PV, Pedro, Lomita?

 

GOOD DEEDS

We've heard, that people are willing to do Good Deeds, but many of them just don't have the chance.

 

(Music.  GOOD DEEDS picks up the hand mike and sings "The Promised Land" as EVERYP give out the flyers.  The Calacas give in and help hand them out.  Some sing with GOOD DEEDS.)

 

GOOD DEEDS

as you wander through this lifetime

searching for your way

could you help someone in trouble

what would you say

 

would you help them on their journey

take them by the hand

give them some direction

to the promised land

 

and i know deep in my soul

i am doing all i can

and I'm feeling in my heart

haven't lost my way to the promised land

 

there's a light that shines above us

it's there for all to see

you and I can get there

with empathy

 

some people love the business

of helping all they can

knowing they will end up in the promised land

 

 

and i know deep in my soul

i am doing all i can

and I'm feeling in my heart

haven't lost my way to the promised land

 

(GOOD DEEDS puts down the mike and dances with the Calacas during instrumentals.  EVERYP. joins GOOD DEEDS for the final chorus.)

 

and i know deep in my soul

i am doing all i can

and I'm feeling in my heart

haven't lost my way to the promised land

 

(Music stops.)

 

EVERYBRO

Thank you, Good Deeds.

 

EVERYWOMAN

Yes, that was wonderful.  Thank you.

 

GOOD DEEDS

You're welcome.  But you should thank them too.  They're the ones who will keep your hope alive, after you've gone.

 

EVERYDUDE

Thank you, friends.  We do hope that you can help out the many people, children, seniors, animals, and works of nature, that are now suffering around you.

 

EVERYBRO

South Bay communities can use the help of people, like yourself, to improve their communities. 

 

EVERYDUDE

For every soul you help, you have helped Everyman.

 

EVERYWOMAN

And Everywoman.

 

 

GOOD DEEDS

Because you have left the world better a place.

 

EVERYBRO

You know, I feel better myself.

 

EVERYDUDE

I do too.  This has opened a part of me that was very rewarding.

 

 

GOOD DEEDS

Well, doing Good Deeds helps to make you a better person.

 

EVERYDUDE

What was that movie, "Pay It Forward"? 

 

GOOD DEEDS

Yes, your recovery begins when you can help someone else.

 

EVERYWOMAN

By the way, Good Deeds, who sent you that UPS package?

 

EVERYBRO

Yes, where did those flyers come from?

 

(GOOD DEEDS takes the wrapping and reads.)

 

GOOD DEEDS

"To Good Deeds.  Some food for the soul.  From your best friend, Repentence."

 

(Group hug for GOOD DEEDS.  They are ready.)

 

EVERYWOMAN

We're ready.

 

(CALACA gestures to the down right vom as the other CALACAS form a double line to heaven.  Music - theme first, then "Happy Trails."  Midway through, PERDITA enters, singing and waving to them.)

 

GOOD DEEDS and EVERYP

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.

Who cares about the clouds when we're together?

Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

Some trails are happy ones,

Others are blue.

It's the way you ride the trail that counts,

Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.

Who cares about the clouds when we're together?

Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

 

 

(EVERYP exits.  CALACAS wave goodbye.  UPS back on.)

 

UPS

So, there you have it.  Death comes to Everyman, and Woman, but before they do, see that you have given of yourself.  Serve the needs of others while you live, and you will live forever.  And until that final moment comes for you, why not join us in our dance!

 

(Music.  Dance of Death Reprise.  CALACAS, PERDITA and UPS dance, then sing.)

 

CALACAS

come join us in our dance of death

the steps are easy if you've never

there's lots of time to practice them

'cause Death Lives Forever

 

Everyman must join this dance

poor, rich, great and small.

pope, emperor, maiden, clerk

Death invites you all

 

You are now, what we were;

what we are, you will be!

golden folks, fear no more,

gone now?  dance with me.

 

(The Gods enter and join the dance.  Some CALACAS bring audience members onstage.)

 

we toss, we shake, we right, we left

our touch on life we sever

a lively step you can't resist

'cause Death Lives Forever

 

enjoy yourself while you can

grieving doesn't help at all

time is running out you know

make ready for our call

 

You are now, what we were;

what we are, you will be!

golden folks, fear no more,

gone now? dance with me.

 

 

(END OF ACT THREE.)

 

THE END.