Catalyst

He was on his afternoon walk which was much like 
his evening walk and his night walk
and saw a smoke plume out of the corner of his eye.  

She had stepped out from work
for a smoke for a minute, and she said later she could see
bum a cigarette register in his eyes
as he crossed the street toward her, but when he got to her 
preparing for an instant of eye contact then making his say,
he looked her in the eye and stopped

and, she told me later, it was as if the veil lifted from his face,
and he told her she was beautiful,
and he told her he‛d forgotten what he came to ask her for,
and she told him he probably 
wanted a smoke and he said, yes, that’s what it was,

and he told her that she reminded him 
of his cousin and though she’d heard this or something like it 
from men a thousand times, 
this time she knew it was real and he began to say what good times
he and his cousin had had and inside 

him what must have happened was Smoke and then 
Look at her she‛s really beautiful and then It’s Laura!
and then But Laura’s gone 
but it looks like her she looks like her

and then he was embarrassed.  So as not to stare he looked 
past her into the shop window full of summer 
clothes, green and white and pale blue and they also were beautiful,
and he remembered it was some kind 
of love that had brought him into the world, and everything
around him reminded him of an old story
he had read years and years ago and forgotten or some old song, 
or his first good drunk,

and then it was time to go, to not bother her.  He thanked her
for the smoke, turned away, and then the veil 
began to rise because it must 
but it was not quite so high as before and would not be again.  
He must try to look for another member of his family.
Smoke rose toward the late afternoon sky.