Now we would say, HERE IS SHADOW. But, alas, only Dr. Christie has the equipment up and running to show you SHADOW. Soon. Soon. Tomorrow? Bokra. Or malesh?

In the absence of better evidence we shall turn Dr. Christie into our keeper of humor. He has a relative who sends him the best in Internet funnies. Here's one he e-mailed us:

In comparing Microsoft accomplishments with General Motors, Bill Gates said:

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles/hour (160,000 km/h). Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to the gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker of the new car would be less than $50."

In response to all this goading, GM replied: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes 4 times a day?"

If Microsoft really did build Cars:........

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this and drive on.
3. Occasionally, your car would stop and fail to restart, and you'd have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car95 or a CarNT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive-but would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Dr. Christie.