University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Latest update: March 26, 2000
jeanne
Susan
A Jeanne Site
California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Latest update: March 26, 2000
jeanne
Susan
By the way, in response to the article of the six year old who killed his classmate, I would like to say that jealousy can lead you to many things like this incident. As I mentioned to you earlier, I work in an elementary school, and kids are cruel sometimes with each other. I had an incident last week in school in which one of the kids told his 6 year old sister that he did not wanted her to be near him, and that he would rather not have had a sister like her. The girl came up to me and told me that he had told her that the day of her death, he was going to make a party. This were very strong remarks from an 8 year old to a 6 yr. old, but of course I spoke to both of them, their teachers, and parents, and now everything is just fine. It turned out that he was jealous of his sister from all the attention she has been getting. In conclusion, words can mean a lot, therefore, is better to speak up so that together we can find a solution.
It would be nice to give me a name. It would also be nice not to use default for your e-mail. You need an e-mail address, and you need to read how to e-mail me for valid record keeping.
But I really like what you had to say about the incident at your school. I think that if we would listen in good faith to our children when they make such statements, we could defuse such anger long before it reaches tragic proportions. I am very glad that you were there for those two children. Teaching in this sense is indeed a noble calling.
jeanne
Hi Jeanne:
I will make an earnest effort in keeping this short. Firstly, I have been wanting to respond to the six year old, but I have been dealing with the structural violence my nine and twelve year old were faced with, The Science Fair and Mission Project, just to make a semester grade. Anyway, my children just as the six year old, deal with a tremendous amount of stress. The six year old had the stresses of surviving in an enviroment that no child should have to endure, exposure to immoral behavior and violence.
My first response was that two children were lost, the boy and the girl. However my question was for the one that is still a living, breathing human being. Is there any hope for him, and can he go on to live a productive life? What type of intervention is there to restore the innocence of his young life that has caused him to become so jaded? Before I heard any reports on his background I immediatley knew what the circumstances of his home life would reveal. I'm not happy to say it, but I was right on the money.
In respect to my children and stress, the only answer is to survive in a competive academic enviroment of structural violence. This enviroment certifies my daughter every quarter with an Honor Roll Certificate. It was a sad day, when she recently failed a math test and got a "C" in social studies. All the awards didn't matter to her then; she considered herself a failure and felt unworthy.
My son, on the other hand has never been awarded a certificate, not because he isn't bright, but because he challenges those that stand before him and expect him to jump through the hoops. Because of his desire for a more challenging and engaging experience he is often labeled as disruptive, and, as a result, given detention. He often feels like an outcast.
Over the past couple of weeks I have realized that a common thread exists; they all have an element of stress and frustration. However, I am left to wonder is one more prone to violence than the other based upon the source of the stress? Should stress even be a factor in violent acts? Surely it is no excuse. Or could it be that good people do bad things based upon circumstances?
Diane Lee
Think of our general acceptance of the "fast track." In accepting the hurried nature of our lives today, are we simply including stress in our infrastructure? Should we? Do we have any choice?
I like that you defined the Science Fair as structurally violent, but I would like to know what led you to that conclusion. I believe that if we are going to end violence, we will need to know much more about what we commonly accept as normative, when it is in fact structurally violent or just plain violent, in response to the stress of perceived structural violence. Can anyone else imagine a Science Fair as structurally violent.
I don't mean to be mysterious with that last question. For me, school competitions were very often structurally violent, for they were based on the unstated assumptions that the child came from a functional home environment that provided support for these projects. No matter how hard I struggled as a ten-year-old, I couldn't compete with Joyce's mother. And the adults didn't even have the good sense to cover their contributions and leave the illusion that this was the children's work. They talked about their involvement in front of me, even when that precise detail had won the prize.
Imagine that the six-year-old who just killed another six-year-old was yours. Imagine that you are sitting in a comfotable, quiet room with him, a living room, not a prison cell. Imagine that you have been charged with explaining to him what was wrong with what he did, but also with giving him the hope of a future to go on for. What would you say to him?
Imagine that the mother of the six-year-old girl is with you. Could you help them talk over what has happened?
Just a few comments on some of the messages that displayed on the site. I would like to add, I have three beautiful black young boys,their ages range from 5 yrs., 7yrs, 14 yrs old. First, all of my children know that guns are dangerous, We don't house such things at our home, and if they were to see a gun they are not to put their hands on it and inform an adult immediately. I believe when a child is subjected to this type of environment that child gets curious. I can't say that this child actually knew what he was doing because number one who's to say the frame of mind this child was in. Does he suffer from behavioral problems, and if so, what's being done to correct this problem? And if he has had problems in the past ,what was done to correct them? Does this child exhibit special learning disabilities, such as specific learning disabilities, attention deficit disorder, or hyper tension deficit disorder? I don't think blaming or labeling him is a good idea, because it isn't helping to solve the ongoing trauma that he is suffering now. Maybe some of these disorders may not touch on what is actually going on in this child's head, but I can't believe he knew he would go to school and out right kill a child. No!!!!
My five year old son does not even play with play guns, and I don't feel he has the mental capacity to take an armed gun and point it deliberately to harm or hurt any child/ person. I further feel this child was frightened after what had happened and he panicked (running to the bathroom and throwing the gun out the window). Now as far as the adult(s) caring for the child are concerned, I hold them responsible for housing the weapon without having it in a safe place so that the child or anyone else could have access to this gun. This child knew that there was a gun in the house and right where to go to get it. It's hard to imagine him searching the house for a weapon just to harm someone. Royette Caldwell
Thanks for responding in a timely manner. However, I think I spoke a bit prematurely. When I read the responses, I assumed that the comments were geared toward putting the blame on some one instead of getting to the root of the problem and ways and means of helping this child. He has to be suffering day after day. My heart and prayers go out to him because what he experienced is very traumatic.
What would you say to the mother of the child? Bear in mind that she comes from very different circumstances. Could we help her? How?