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California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Soka University Japan - Transcend Art and Peace
Created: November 7, 2003
Latest Update: November 7, 2003
jeannecurran@habermas.org
takata@uwp.edu

Sixteen and Driving

Site Copyright: Jeanne Curran and Susan R. Takata and Individual Authors, November 2003.
"Fair use" encouraged.

On Friday, November 7, 2003, Shannon G., CSUDH, wrote:

Hi Jeanne...

. . .

I . . . want to comment on Growing up and Letting go...

When I read it, I felt like I was 16 all over again. Let me tell you a little story of my life in terms of driving. I am the youngest of 3 children, and the only girl. My brothers are 40, 37, and I'm 27 so there is a HUGE age difference between us. So when they started driving, I was like, a small child (3 - 5 yrs old., somewhere around there) and since they're boys, I don't think my parents worried so much when they started driving. That shocked the hell out of me because both of my brothers had car issues, serious ones, accidents, tickets, etc. When I turned 16, the only thing I got to do was get my learner's permit.

I was pissed because I wanted to drive all the time, but no one was available to supervise all the time. Then when I finally did reach the age where I got my own car, I think during my senior year, my parents and I did go through a process of answerability. They pretty much expressed their concern for me, while driving, laid down the rules of driving, and they didn't want anyone in the car with me...not even my friends, only because if something happened, I'd be responsible for them as well.

I can say though, being that I was the youngest, and the only girl, I didn't have to share my car with any siblings, younger or older, so that was the blessing. Today, at age 27, I completely understand my parents concerns and I love them even more for it. Even now, sometimes my parents won't fall right to sleep until I've gotten home from an evening class or a late night gathering with my with friends. I appreciate that and hope to be just as wonderful a parent as they have both been.

Shannon <><

On Friday, November 7, 2003, jeanne responded:

Shannon, you've done a very good job here at reminding us all of the complexities of even such simple questions as "How'm I gonna get there?" It's good that you note how much better you understand your parents' restrictions now. A sixteen year old apperceptive mass doesn't have the lived experiences to draw on to create the fractal experiences that go into creating some new patterns. Then the 30 or 40 year old apperceptive mass has to work pretty hard at remembering what sixteen was like. That tells us, it would seem to me, that answerability is a changing aesthetic process over time, and what I might answer the Other today is not necessarily the same answer I would have given when I was younger. That's OK. Aesthetic judgment, like everything else, changes over time. Person, and Other, and the Interrelationship will grow and change. If they can remember to listen to one another in good faith, and if they keep a naked space handy where they are willing to explore difference, they'll be OK.

love and peace, jeanne