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Created: November 8, 2002
Latest Update: November 9, 2002
jeannecurran@habermas.org
takata@uwp.edu

Now, How should I live?

Site Copyright: Jeanne Curran and Susan R. Takata and Individual Authors, November 2002.
"Fair use" encouraged.

It was Socrates who said the "unexamined life" is not worth living. The stories that have inundated our media and alternate media since September 11 have forced us all to come back to that old question: "How Shall I live my life?" Leslie Keeney has done a very good job of addressing that question in this comment.

On Thursday, November 7, 2002, Leslie Keeney wrote:

Subject: How others feel about Americans?

Jeanne,

On Tuesday after class I went home and turned on The Oprah Whinfrey show. The show was about CNN associates discussing the opinions of troubled regions about the United States. I found it to be interesting, however also embarrassing. Ever since I have taken your class, and after watching this program, I have been feeling ashamed about my own country and our values and belief systems.

Let me stop you right here, Leslie, long enough to say that I hope our discussions go on long enough, and that we get through enough theoretical material to make determination to change our relations with the rest of the world stronger than any shame for the past. Shame is an interesting emotion. It is used among some religious groups and in some alternatives to traditional punishment. But I am often concerned that its primary operation is to force outliers to conform to the beliefs and expectations of the group.That doesn't leave a lot of room for difference. Shaming might be wonderful, as research has shown, when entire families gather together to insist that violence within the home stop. When the support of the whole family is there, and when there is no one willing to support the perpetrator, the violence is more likely to stop. Families, acting together, have great power in this sense, as do communities.

But shaming scares me when I consider the possibility of its use with someone like Jean-Michel Basquiat. There was lots of pain in his early life. To shame him into staying in home, in school, would have been to simply impose values on him that wouldn't work for him. Sometimes there really are outliers. Sometimes creativity is like that. Maybe some such intervention would have prevented Jean-Michel's eventual death from an overdose of heroin. Or maybe it wouldn't. There's lots we don't know about acknowledging the harm done by making us fit into the community, and about how much we can safely force the fit, and how much we ought to allow difference. Innovation is always going to look different. If forced into conformity, we may lose it. Once again, none of these issues is simple.

Shame also raises the issue of guilt, which raises the issue of complicity. As you learn all this new information that goes with a global perspective that was never so strong, you need to remember that it was largely kept from you. You weren't denying the existence of the harm that was being perpetrated on others both here and across the globe. You simply had no ready access to such information. Complicity would require that first you became aware of the stories, and then looked the other way, failed to act, took advantage of the situation, etc. Now that you know, complicity to would be to deny the information. To insist that the US has a right to Iraq's oil, and we're the strongest, and can take it, so go take it. (On a talk show the other night.) Now, that's complicity. Complicity is failing to act on the grounds that there's nothing you can do anyway, or it's too far away, or your voice doesn't count, and then taking advantage of the privileges we gain through all the actions our government has taken.

Shame is not terribly productive. We'd like you to heighten your awareness. Come to recognize these situations when they occur. Ask questions. Write letters. Send e-mail. Send money if you have it. And talk about these situations with those you feel comfortable with. Actions that can evoke shame are far more likely to occur when they are kept out of awareness. The more aware we are, the more our government and the corporations that depend on our markets are likely to respond to our demands to end that which is shameful.

Let me first give you an overview of what some of the people from other countries said about us, Americans.

• One example was recorded in South Korea, the country that about fifty years ago fought with us during the Korean War. Koreans admitted that they feel that they can no longer trust Amercia. They feel that fifty years ago we were hand in hand, but now we have basically used them for their support during the war and then dumped them.

• Another example was from people in France. One lady reported that American's cultural is about dominance and being the best. She continued saying that Americans hear what they want to hear and ignore what they don't want to hear. "Amercians don't listen" she says.

  France and other counrties feel that Amercians are addicted to money and that we have no regard for foriegn policy. Which is true! On a positive note, females in France respect the fact that women in America both work and have babies. They were very impressed with female capabilities. I guess in France its either or.

• Jarkarta, Indonesia, has the largest Muslims population in the world. They feel that large corporations like McDonalds and movie theatres are damaging their own culture. A woman reported that becuase our culture is moving into their space it is changing the way some dress and act. Many feel that Americans abuse our Super power with our ignorance. On a lighter note, The women in Indonesia respect the equality between sexes in America.

• Our most important economic partner, Australia, feels that we do not support them. They feel that the bombings in Bali were our fault becuase we are thier "relatives". The fact that we participate with them, and that we too were atttacked on 911, leads Australians to beleive that they were attacked becuase they are our allies. They also pointed out a scene when Australia's people were mourning for 911 and New York. But then they asked when do Amercians mourn for others in crisis? Then I thought when do we, the media only tells the story, but never does the president or media ask to mourn or pray for other countries, UNLESS IT AFFECTS US NOW OR IN OUR FUTURE!

• To wrap the show up, they discussed the feelings of South Afica and Columbia. Columbians feel that we are very lonely people, however they envy our technology, police investigators, and money/power. South Africa, a country where "two million mouths go hungry every night" says that we owe them becuase we exploit them, and that we have no clue about the devastation they live in.

To hear all these different yet same opinions has made me think about myself and my country. I see their argurment on the value on money, power, and selfishness. What I don't understand is how I am supposed to live. I have been taught all my life in this culture, but now I am learning about other's cultures and values and comparing them to mine. I feel in a sense that by not following the values of America, that others may think that I am lowering my standards. For example, I have never been a very materialistic person, I like nice things, but I dont need them to be happy. Some of my friends think that becuase I dont spend my money on certain things, like clothes and cars, that I am not giving myself everything that I deserve or can have at my fingertips. Am I making any sense to you? I'm sorry. I'm going to stop and clear my head and I will email more later on the subject. I wanted to include DENIAL in this email but I never got to it so I'll email that next. SORRY.SO LONG!

Leslie Keeney Women in Society

Good notes, on the program you listened to, Leslie. And good analysis: All these countries are saying pretty much the same thing.

• Emphasis on moeny and power above all else.
• Exploitation of others.
• Lack of trust of US promises and support.
• A fast-paced, impersonal, profit-oriented way of doing most business.
• Little respect and caring for Others.

And I liked your response" to wonder what that means about how you should live your life. As hundreds of thousands of Americans struggle everyday to make such news accessible and to get people to listen, there are sources everywhere now that should provide a means for you to begin to answer that question. Most peace groups publicize the information to which you are referring. Amnesty International makes this news available. Find one such group that is congenial to you, and talk to people in that group. You'll find like-minded individuals that way, and ways to do some small things that will make you feel that you are not complicit in the shameful things our government and corporations engage in, and so need not be ashamed of all Americans, and can be proud of many you know.

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