On November 8, Kelly wrote:

November 3 Lecture on Peacemaking

"Ty and Michael had an interesting conversation about racial issues and peacemaking. It was obvious that the two of them come from two completely different worlds. Of course, I can identify with what Ty felt about being questioned about her relationship to her nephew. I have gone into department stores and gotten looks from clerks as if they wanted to ask me what I was doing there. Afterwards, I was ignored and put into a position in which I had to demand to get service. After listening to Ty and Michael, it is understandable why it is not possible to understand being in these kinds of situations unless you have actually experienced them. Pepinsky would say that the parties involved in the disagreement must be willing to talk openly about their feelings and also be willing to listen openly to the feelings of others in order to achieve peace. Once we get to know one another, it is less likely we will be involved in conflict with one another."

On November 28 jeanne responded:

I recall that discussion, Kelly. Both Kelly and I displayed considerable verve about exlusion and excluding remarks in front of our young relatives. Someone accused us of behaving like mothers with their cubs. We agreed with that. But then someone, Michael, I think, brought up the peacemaking approach of realizing that the exluder may not have meant to insult us, and that we should broach him to discuss the issue calmly. I seem to recall that both Thy and I bristled at that.

I'm not sure I know what Pepinsky would say about that, but I suspect that both of us needed to get the anger over repressed experiences out before we could possibly come to the discourse table. It is fascinating that both of us reached that point of aggression over the involvement of children. Maybe we should look at that more closely.

jeanne