Mirror Sites:
CSUDH - Habermas - UWP

California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Soka University Japan, Transcend Art and Peace
Created: November 30, 2001
Latest Update: November 30, 2001
jeannecurran@habermas.org

My identity is safe! I know how it ends! I just woke up this morning and I knew the ending. And it's not like peeking ahead to the end of a book. I know the whole story now. I knew this was postmodern. I think I read all Andre Gide's diaries and I don't remember ever reading that he had this experience. Hooray, for the postmodern novel. Pace, David. You don't have to read it. It's my novel, and it's postmodern, so there!

Now, of course I can't tell you how it ends. But I'll give you a clue. It ends with one of my paintings. And remember when Pat called me, and that silly phone rang in the classroom during my lecture? Well, that's a clue, too. But you'll never guess.

I'm going to stop and have breakfast now because I didn't go to bed until 2:30 in the morning because I'm not being obsessive about finishing it today. I already announced on the Nanowrimo site that I'm a winner. I had it all worked out. I woke up knowing that, too. There are all those thesis project notes I wrote and the whole journal on the site, and then it's only fair that paintings count for something. No, I didn't go back and count them all. But they've gotta add up to about 25,000 words. So, see, Mother, I didn't tell a lie. They were just being structurally violent, and I needed to get over my obsessive obeying of rules because rules are meant to keep me out. And if I accept that, I'm being complicit in the destruction of my own self esteem.

Jonathan Lear, how's that for rationalization? I'm still determined there has to be a rational explanation and that it must be objective and that it must be "true." Wow! Maybe they did colonize me! Help! I need a pink lace bra. Surely I couldn't be this obsessed if they had left my mind alone. But maybe that's just civilization! Oh, who cares! I'm a winner because I say I'm a winner because I am a winner, and if they don't like it, they don't have to read my November Novel.

Did you notice that this is Chapter 13? Now, is that weird, or what?

I'll tell you all about it soon. . . .

---

---

Notes to finish:

Lois and Joanie - agendae of their own. Just like Marlene and Jaime. Susan - off to Berkeley. Nothing as clear as the bullies of whom Duncan Kennedy complains, but none the less, hierarchical control.

Students could discuss, but couldn't lead argument. Bourdieu - academic discourse - how could I have it when I wasn't having it myself?

Helped that I had never had such entree so I didn't know the rules. I set about to create my fantasy of what "they" must have had.

Learning has to start with what you want to talk about - Lenard, Rousseau and Emile.

But learning also means discipline. C's simply say you haven't succeeded. The self-esteem stuff says we need support. So we began to write in this direction.

The kid who asked you mean you want me to know not just T F, but why?