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Caliifornia State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Created: November 12, 2001
Latest Update: November 12, 2001
jeannecurran@habermas.org
takata@uwp.edu

Connecting with Others: Mutuality
"Where I was when I heard the NEWS"

Journal entry by Olga Vasquez

Review and Teaching Essay by Jeanne Curran and Susan Takata
Copyright by: Jeanne Curran and Susan Takata and Individual Authors: August 2, 2001.
"Fair use" encouraged.

On Monday morning, November 12, 2001, Olga Vasquez wrote:

JEANNE I AM SEATED, SHOCKED AGAIN OVER THIS MORNING'S NEWS ABOUT ANOTHER AMERICAN AIRLINES CRASH IN QUEENS, NEW YORK. MY BODY IS FULL WITH PAIN. I AM THOUGHTLESS. WHY IS IT IN NEW YORK AGAIN? WE STILL HAVE NOT RECOVERED FROM THE FIRST TRAGEDY ON 9-11. WHETHER IT IS ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK OR A MECHANICAL MALFUNCTION IT IS STILL ANOTHER TRAGEDY, BECAUSE WE ARE LOSING 257 PEOPLE. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE FLYING WEDNSDAY TO NEW YORK WITH MY GRANDSON TO RECEIVE A SCHOLARSHIP FROM MTV. I HAVE A LOT OF FEAR AND AM AFRAID TO GO.

YOU'RE A WONDEFUL PROFESSOR . . . .
OLGA VASQUEZ

On Monday, November 12, 2001, after viewing the NEWS, jeanne responded:

Olga, Of all the ways I could have learned of this tragedy, your announcement was the most I could have asked for. I fed the insistent Cat, and then collected my e-mail. And there was your message! Woke my husband, and turned on the NEWS.

Later, I returned to my mail and read your message sanely. The scholarship is such a wonderful honor for your grandson. Congratulations. But I understand your fear. I share it. Had we gone to Atlanta, as we had planned, I would have got back to L.A. on Saturday. Talk about the retroactive shivers!

Even at a moment like this, the teacher in me can't let the chance for conceptual linking pass her by. You ended your message with a compliment for me. That is not an accident. I think the theory behind that compliment is that at times like this we humans need each other. We need to tell our stories, and to know that there are those who will listen. We know they can't solve the problems we face. But we arent' asking for solutions. We're asking for connectedness to others. Fellman calls it mutuality. Some of us call it peacemaking. All of us need it.

It was Dear Habermas' meeting of that need that led to the "you're wonderful." No, not me, us. Collectively we on Dear Habermas are creating connectedness. And connectedness matters.

I had a hard time seeing the conceptual linking in this piece. That's because we were communicating within the private sphere of our connectedness. I just thought the juxtaposition of the "you're wonderful" was terribly inconsistent with the tone of the message, and kept looking for an explanation. I think I was right. I think it was a simple "thank you" for the connectedness needs we are meeting together.

love and peace, and my prayers for the safety of you and your grandson, jeanne