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Thinking About What I Learned

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California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Created: May 19, 2006
Latest Update: May 19, 2006

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Index of Topics on Site Thinking About What I Learned Pulls The Material Together for Me

Star wrote in Message No. 13492 what she had learned this semester. Grace had done that, and Star saw it. It's a technique I sometimes suggest when you're trying to tell me what you learned. I like it, too. It has the added benefit that over time, if we compare those messages, we may be able to see how differently the course appeals to different people, which is certainly as it should be.

In Message No. 13492 Star wrote:

"I saw someone else do this and thought it was a good idea. You really see how much you've learned when you explain the class to someone. "I learned that visual sociology is getting messages to the community visually, so that folks have something interesting (like Jeanne's cards) to look at and discuss. Visual sociology engages people. I learned that long wall jobs is doing a job other than the standard way. This is what visual sociology, Jeanne, and Pat are all about. Jeanne and Pat teach other than the standard way. They are very concerned that we develop real learning, not just be able to spit back a bunch of facts for a test.

I learned about illocutionary discourse and that it means to listen to others and really hear another's perspective. This involves patience. Patience is essential for the greater goal of bringing love and understanding to the table. Illocutionary discourse and emotional intelligence go hand in hand. Emotional intelligence is listening and hearing the human being behind the message, without letting the message trigger my issues. I am surprised that, although I may not always agree with someone, applying emotional intelligence helps me at least understand them. It is a lot harder to be judgmental and critical when you understand where someone is coming from. I am getting better at applying this to all communications in my life now from my husband, to work, to friends, to that woman with a car load of kids honking at me from behind!

eanne said in class that you have to get rid of the affect in order to deal with actual issues. When discussing issues with my classmates, I found I have a lot of affect. The affect was indeed clouding my ability to see another's perspective. When I remembered what Jeanne said about affect, I was able to have greater emotional intelligence. Kathleen challenges me the most, so far! But now, I am much better at really hearing her. She has good points, and a lot of those points she can back with real data. Illocutionary discourse and good sources help to alleviate the affect.

I learned a lot through discussions I've been having with other students about feminism, immigration, child abuse, and living together before marriage. It is interesting to know how others have lived and overcome challenges. I find people on transform-dom are really quite generous about sharing their experiences.

Jeanne says to live out loud! Jeanne's passion is so evident. I remember one day Jeanne came to class late and those of us still there were about to leave. Jeanne was run down because of her trip to Turkey. The four of us, Brenda Love, Aaron, Jeanne, and myself got into Jeanne's SUV where Jeanne proceeded to teach a short class! Talk about not teaching in the standard way! What impressed me is how Jeanne came alive when she was dragging before. Her passion transcended her exhaustion. I think that is the day I started to love Jeanne. How can you help but love someone who loves humanity with such vigor. She is so eager to teach, to share, to help, and she is so open with hers.

I made a comment on transform-dom about wishing there was as much reaction to child molestation as there is about immigration. Jeanne shared a booklet called, Breaking Silence, Help for Adults Who Molest Children. This was a particular challenge for me to digest, but I have read it again and again. This taught me to even have (some) emotional intelligence for pedophiles, at least for the ones getting help. Maybe there is hope for those pedophiles who are getting help.

Still, many believe there is no cure for pedophiles. I think we need tougher laws and consequences for pedophiles. But I have to say that the booklet told the truth. Sexual abuse grows in silence and secrecy, and a pedophile is unlikely to stop on his own. I also learned the legal definitions of abuse. Just asking for it (without even touching) is illegal. Also, just because a child does not act like she has been harmed because maybe she knows the abuser, does not mean she was not harmed. It was interesting that the booklet discussed how the secrecy harms the child AND the abuser. Very informative read.

I thought I could quickly jot down what I have learned, but the more I write, the more I remember. I cannot write it all. However, these are some of the main points I will take with me.

Thank you, Jeanne and Pat. --Star :)

Discussion Questions

  1. Thank you, Star. Which of the things you mention do you think I might have forgotten in test questions?

    I had completely forgotten that wonderful brochure on pedophiles. Never would have asked question on it. Never would have known of its impact. I was sexually abused before the age of 3, twice. One instance i recall. Of the earlier incident I recall only being examined (in horrifying detail, as clear as today), and the terror I screamed out. It's hard for me to sympathize with abusers of children. I won't take a case defending one. But that brochure helped me approach the subject a little more easily. We have so much to share with each other. We've just forgotten how important talking is.

  2. Do you think I could have covered so much theory, and allowed so many different paths to explore, if I'd required that you take a test in which you were expected to recall all that material?

    I think not. Even if we'd chosen the questions together, there would have been too many to make the choice representative for each of us.

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