This page will be coordinated with Paul Beatty.

On Friday, October 27, 2000, Rudy Arce wrote:

It seems that the great concrete wall Beatty is talking about is the Santa Monica freeway.

I like Beatty's comment about the LAPD being dressed to oppress and the Santa Monica police wearing conflict resolution ribbons and riding bicycles.

His mother did not seem to realize the danger involved for her children to play at the park. I believe this happens when a single parent woman is too busy to be aware of her surroundings because she has an endless cycle of going back and forth between work and home.

On Friday, October 27, 2000, jeanne responded:

Hi, Rudy. Good to hear from you again. Your comment tonight gives me a good chance to talk about grading criteria. As it stands I would give this comment a B-. I think it's very important to note that I am influenced by the fact that I know your work from an earlier class, that I know of your interests from field trips and face-to-face interaction. That permits me to read your concluding comment against a context. This points to the importance of my knowing each of you.

How does this minimal knowledge affect my judgment of your work? Well, in this case, you began with very specific references to Beatty's text. Because we have talked, I know that you have been reading that text. Your comment confirmed to me that you were likely taking up that reading tonight. The specificity helped. It gave me a sense of where you are. For a higher grade, I would have wanted to know the page, or the chapter, or the URL, so that those of us responding to your comment, could go directly to what you were reading.

For a higher grade, I would also have liked you to be more specific about why you liked those passages. Because I do know you, I read into your statement that there was a sense of identity in recognizing the Santa Monica freeway, that the reference made you feel a little like you might feel if you runinto an actor or athlete you recognize , or see a landmark you know. When I read your comment on the Santa Monica freeway, it made me feel included, like I was one of the "in" people who know the Santa Monica freeway. Had you had such a feeling, we could go on to talk about the sense of identity that comes with "knowing" the locale, the space. That was one of the factors that caused me to select the text.

Now, I'm not so sure what you liked about Beatty's comment on the police being dressed to oppress and the wearing of conclict resolution ribbons, and riding bikes. That's a catchy phrase, "dressed to oppress," and Beatty uses language well. But it sounds to me like you might have felt a twinge of identity with the sense of oppression. I'd like to know what you were feeling. I think others would do. That would help us understand how to share this reading with you. Because I know you, I have assumed that my emphasis last semester on keeping comments down to 25 words or less probably intimidated you, and kept you from adding necessary detail. Detail's important, Rudy. We aren't counting words, just trying to stick to the essential.

That brings me to the last comment on Gunnar's mother not understanding the danger to her children in the park. Again, I would appreciate a page number reference, so we could find the spot in the text. Because I know you, and know that you are raising young children, I hear the parental concern. I wonder, though, if your description of the mother's distraction from the cycle of work and home doesn't apply to all of us, mothers and fathers and teachers alike.

I think you have introduced a wonderful topic for discussion here, but it's not developed. Actually you covered enough information here that you could have managed two complete comments. Sometimes that's the solution to length. Pare what you have to say down to one butterfly at a time. Then you can give it the detail it deserves.

Imagine how erudite you would have sounded had you pondered the question of the never ending cycle between home and work as a structural constraint imposed by the dominant discourse which has dampened our imaginary for a fuller life with our children. Now, there's an A!

Good job, Rudy. Now revise two comments for two A's.
love and peace, jeanne

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