A Jeanne Site
California State University, Dominguez Hills
University of Wisconsin, Parkside
Latest update:October 11, 1998
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We learn in many ways. In silence, through the actions. Her son had been moody and recalcitrant. She drew conclusions about his state of mind and his patterns of behavior from that observation. Reasonable, but she had to operate on assumptions, such as that there were no other causes for his behavior.
When her son behaves differently she recognizes that her expectations have not been met, and that there is affect. She is likely to snap, be cross, have difficulty responding lightly and cheerily to continue this new and welcome change. That recognizes her own complexity as well as her son's. That also recognizes that we need to stay open to new information, from many sources.
Received knowing says spare the rod and spoil the child. But connected knowing recognizes the multiple pressures on relationships in 1998.